Motherhood surprises most women and can become a chokehold for some due to improper planning. Especially, when raising kids in modern societies today, where tongues are quick to lash out at kids. Such experiences can make or break how your little one views the world as they advance. 

In this short interview, spoken word artist and certified trichologist Atilola Moronfolu dive into ways to build and nurture your child’s confidence through intentional parenting and building structure. 

Babymigo: How did you become an intentional parent? 

I've always been an intentional person. I immerse myself in anything I do. I also got a few ideas from books I picked up during my pregnancy. 

I didn't want to be a neglectful mother. When I had a child, I hired a nanny that went out with me every time. Whether I was going to the office or events, she was with me by the minute. I didn't want my parenting life to be affected, and I didn't want my career to take me away from my kids. I even made an excel sheet to plan my day-to-day activities.

Babymigo: What is your definition of intentional parenting? 

Value is a necessary trait to be invested in every child. Intentional parenting is having a reason for everything you do for your child. Every family wants to stand out from others. They have a mutual focus, which is passed down to their children. 

Some households want to be known as professional families, while others are leaders or politicians. Before I started having kids, I knew what values I wanted them to possess. When the kids arrived, I started implementing these values. 

I instill leadership qualities in my kids. I’ve always wanted my kids to be front liners, and I made a list of what these would entail. Kids vary, and parents should remember to be gentle with them.

Before my firstborn turned one, I started telling him affirmations before bedtime. I say it, and he repeats it after me. We go back and forth for a few minutes every day. At a point, he started reminding me when it was time for his affirmations. 

Babymigo: How did you come up with those affirmations?  

Set a goal for your family system. Firstly, children are not like adults. They pick things up quickly. Ideally, children love routines. I set a family value. 

Once there is a routine, even on days you don't do it, your kids will ask about it because they know it's a routine that happens in the family.

Goals and aspirations for your kids are important.  The child develops inherent calculative skills. The younger one started repeating these affirmations before turning one! I saw it and didn't know how to explain it, so I decided to video him. 

Babymigo: How do you combine your business with parenting and motherhood? Kindly share tips with us.  

"Structure"

 I structure everything done at my office. I have a plan for everything. My nanny is structured as well, and she is educated. She knows the daily routine.

For instance, between 9 am-12 pm, my nanny knows she is to teach the kids. Before hiring any nanny, I list any questions I want to ask her. There is a book for her to read to prove she’s educated because I want someone who can teach. I want someone with the patience to teach my kids when I’m absent. 

The structure is an excellent way to balance work-life and parenting. I’m not perfect, and I've learned to work with things within my control. 

For instance, I once hired a nanny who was a year younger than me, and she also has two kids within the same age range as my kids. She said she could handle the task because I was concerned. I didn’t think she was the best fit to address my kids.

A few weeks into the job, her kid got sick, and she became disoriented. She didn’t have her life in order at all. That is a clear example of lacking structure. 

Babymigo: Kindly share two (2) challenges you have faced and how you've been able to meet and resolve them.  

One of my challenges is getting people to follow through with instructions. Because you can't do everything yourself, you can't see everything. You can only attend to what you see.

But in such situations, just do what you can do. I don’t bother myself anymore, even though my eyes can’t be everywhere.

My husband is super supportive, and my family has greatly supported me. Having a support system makes parenting much easier for everyone. So, make sure you have supportive people around you. 

That's all mamas! Would you also use excel sheets to structure your parenting life? We'd love to hear your strategies for intentional parenting.  Have any questions or comments regarding intentional parenting? Do leave a comment, and don’t forget to be intentional today!