Oluwaseun Osigbesan is a wife and mum of 2 kids, a boy, and a girl. She is an actor, filmmaker, author, brand influencer, and entrepreneur. She wrote her first book “BEING A WOMAN“ in 2021, she also shot her first film “THE COMPROMISE“ in 2021 which is available on her YouTube channel. She also has a perfume line “Zsheunic Scents“. You can visit www.zsheunic.com to know more about it.
What's your favorite part of being a mum?
My favorite part of being a mom is when I watch my kids perform in special school programs like children’s day celebrations, Christmas celebrations, graduation ceremonies, etc I always feel proud watching them perform on stage. It’s a joy to see a child you gave birth to grow right in your face and make you proud.
Tell us your two most memorable experiences as a mum
The first memorable experience was when I had to be on set filming for 5months with my first child, a 4month old baby at the time. I was a new mom, I had no experience whatsoever, the work itself was demanding, and I could hardly take a break.
My baby boy was more like a restless child, he never slept for long, and he liked sucking every time he was awake. He liked attention (being carried) not everyone could carry him (more like he was selective). I always had to breastfeed him to sleep plus my attention was always also required on set. It was really hectic and I had no clue about juggling work and nursing a baby.
The 5months looked like 5years to me, it was as if it wasn’t going to end. I always woke up at 4 am because I had to be on set by 7 am, and when I woke up, I had to first prepare my baby, bathe him, dress him up, feed him and then pack his bag and make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything and afterward prepare myself for work too.
I usually returned home by 11 pm because we always wrapped by 8 pm and then went through traffic for another 3 hours every single day for 5 months. The earliest I returned home was 10 pm because where I stayed was very far from where we filmed. And when I get home, I would still have to bathe my baby before I sleep.
The earliest I slept was 12:30am, most times I slept 1 am, to wake up at 4am again plus my baby would still wake up and suck in the middle of the night. I wanted to die. I lost a lot of weight in 2months, even my baby lost some weight despite the fact that he was feeding well. The stress was just out of this world. Stress was written all over my face. It is an experience I can never forget in my life.
The second memorable experience as a mom was when I was going home with my first child at around 8 pm in the evening. He was 1year + at the time. We just moved into a new area, I wasn’t so familiar with the new area and I wasn’t mobile as well. It was raining that night and I had no umbrella. So as I carried my boy on my shoulder walking along the road and trying to avoid reckless bike men, my baby and I fell into a deep gutter covered with dirty water.
My leg got stuck in the ditch and my boy was almost covered in the messy black water. He cried at the top of his voice so much that I was scared something had bitten him in the water. People had gathered around us already trying to remove my baby from the water and afterward they helped me out too and put me on a bike home. I wept bitterly while I bathed my baby that very night. I never wanted to see a day/night like that ever in my life.
Have you ever had mom guilt? If yes, how have you managed it?
I once had a pang of mom guilt when I left my boy in school and picked him up at the school manager’s house at 12am because of work. His dad was indisposed and I left work around 11pm. I was stuck at work on Lagos island and I just couldn’t help it. He wasn’t happy with me at all, and neither was the school manager who took care of him that day. I apologized over and over again to him and to the school. That’s the only guilt I know I have as a mom.
Are there things you miss about life before kids?
First, while I was pregnant with my first child, I missed some juicy acting jobs that could have helped my career to an extent which I still remember till date. Also, I miss my private time alone. My kids don’t allow me to have any time to myself at all. They are always in and out of my room either asking for one thing or the other or telling you boring stories or reporting each other to me. It’s always one thing or the other. I can’t have private time except when I go on a vacation without them. That’s basically what I miss before having kids.
What is the best piece of advice you could give to an expecting mum who is about to have their first child?
The advice I would give to a first-time mom-to-be is that she has to be ready for the work. Being a mom is not a title but a lifetime responsibility. You have to get involved with your child, you have to be present, and you have to be intentional. Having a well-behaved, cultured, intelligent, and healthy child doesn’t happen by magic. You have to be available to do the work. Even after your child is married, the work continues. Of course, the responsibility is largely minimized because the child is mature enough to take care of him/herself but we do not abandon them to face life issues with less experience just because they are mature and can take care of themselves. This is not to poke your nose into their affairs but making them know you are available to guide them about life issues whenever they need help is what I mean by a lifetime responsibility.
What parenting mantra(s) do you live by?
I always say to my kids “you are a genius” and “you are a change agent“ because that’s who I believe they are.
Appreciation to (Mrs) Oluwaseun Osigbesan for inspiring many moms through this amazing interview session. You can connect with Oluwaseun Osigbesan via Instgram @zsheunic
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