Oreoluwa Folayan Tue 18-Jan-22 10:01:13

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There is a difference between *punishment* and *discipline.*
Punishment is good because it tells the child that actions have
consequences. But punishment must lead to a point where a child can,
on his own, choose not to misbehave. That point is called DISCIPLINE.
A disciplined child can make the right choices unsupervised.
Unfortunately, many times punishment does not lead to discipline
because of wrong administration. There are common mistakes parents
make when punishing and the end result is negative. Many children
even become stubborn.

Here are some rules
for punishment...

1. Never ever beat a child out of anger. No don't do it. You came
back from work and noticed that Peter has broken the center table due
to excessive play. You get so angry that you land Peter a few dirty
slaps while screaming at him. WRONG! I know your
table is expensive but that child's character is more valuable. Be
the parent. Be in control of your emotions. When you react out of
anger, you're telling your child that it's okay to react out of anger.
They learn more by what they see you do rather than what you say.

2. Avoid punishing
for a first time offense. If Peter went to the convenience without
flushing, that is an offense in most houses. Do not punish Peter yet.
Ask him to flush and immediately please stipulate a punishment for
that offense. "The next time you do this you will get 3 lashes
on your bumbum or you will wash the toilet for a week", or any
other punishment you so desire. Let Peter know the consequence for
that action. The next time Peter does it, do not shout. Do not get
angry. Look at Peter at his eye level. Squat or bend if you have to.
In a deep serious voice remind him of the consequence of that action
and please follow it through. Give him the 3 lashes. Not 2, not 4,
but 3 as stipulated. Peter must not think you're beating him out of
anger but because of what he did wrong. By that, Peter will
learn that actions have consequences. Next time he uses the toilet,
he will flush.

3. Be consistent. If
a punishment for an offense is 3 lashes, please give 3 lashes each
time that offense is committed. Do not pardon Peter sometimes
depending on your mood. Do not threaten without following it through.
If you do, Peter will begin to take you for granted and it's a
terrible situation.

4. Do not shout
threats. Please have a serious voice. Practice it. It should be
deeper than your normal talking voice. Threaten only once and follow
through the next time it happens. A parent who shouts a lot will likely
raise a child who will shout a lot.