How To Deal with Nosy Family Members as a New Parent

Nothing could have prepared you for that all-important first time your child was put on your chest. Even after spending the majority of your pregnancy period researching newborn care and parenting options.


In other words, no matter how much information you have and how many kids you have cared for before becoming a parent, every new parent is entirely unprepared to be responsible for their own child. Isn't that intimidating?


Guess what? You'll figure it out, but you'll also make a lot of mistakes along the way. People you care about, people you know, and family will all think they know more than you do along the journey, and while some of them may provide helpful advice, the majority will irritate you (even those that might have useful advice). 


What do you do when individuals try to force their "good parenting advice" down your throat? Here's how to handle it so you don't end up with a full-fledged family dispute.


1. Treat Everyone with Respect

If you've been ruminating on how much a person irritates you, it's possible that when or if you do decide to speak with them about it, you'll be filled with a flood of resentment. Instead, take a deep breath and attempt to balance out the challenges with all of the wonderful things they do for you. No, really, think about it (kidding). In this manner, even if you are troubled, you may respect their efforts to assist you.


2. Be Firm About the Things that Matter to You

It's fine to set limits.  Limits stop unwanted behaviors and provide safe boundaries; what is expected of them (family members), how far they can go, what to assist with, what not to, and what happens if they go too far. 



3. Before the Baby is Born, Say What you Wish to See

It’s a good idea to plan ahead of time and think about what you want. You are smart to plan ahead of time because the influx of guests might be stressful at a time when you're fatigued and don't want to focus on anything but your newborn. Your relatives, on the other hand, are not mind readers. It would be fantastic if you could start talking to them respectfully about it right now. An open and honest speech about how you're delighted that people want to share your joy, but you're worried about being overwhelmed with visitors, and suggestions for how they may be most helpful.


4. Concentrate on the Enjoyable Areas

Try to divert discussion or phone calls away from how you feed your baby and toward something cute or pleasant. If you can praise and appreciate people for their assistance in being a part of this, you'll get bonus points.

One thing you'll almost certainly agree on is how amazing your child is. So, if in doubt, focus on the positive side of things and how your baby is faring beautifully for the time being.


5. Consider Things from their Point of View

It's not compulsory to take every suggestion when you're told, sometimes being able to take other people's perspectives gives you a better understanding and idea as to how they did things when it was their era and how you want yours to be done.  



6. Make an effort not to Ask for too Many Favors

Obviously, occasional babysitting is beneficial. However, relying on your family for all of your needs, including aid, advice, and childcare, can make them feel as if they have earned the right to intervene. Remember that individuals require alone time as well, and they have the right to explain that they have other commitments.


7. Maintain Calm

You'll probably lose your mind if you freak out every time one of your elder family members tells you about how things used to be. Instead, take a step back and pick your battles: only the ones that directly affect your child, not those that are hypothetically related to child-rearing.

Inform them that the way you've chosen has nothing to do with their parenting. 


8. Confirm that your partner is in charge of the situation

For in-laws, it’s much better to deliver a message to your in-laws that they won't appreciate, such as requesting a shorter visit, through your partner. If you manage to insult them while delivering the message, they may harbor resentment for a long time after this talk is ended. If your partner is the one in charge, remember that they are their child, and they can't be furious at them for very long.


Make sure, though, that you and your partner are presenting a united front and that this information is coming from both of you.




Everyone is affected by having a baby, and there can be certain growing pains for everyone involved. Here are some questions you might want to ask as a new parent:


  • 1. Do you want your loved ones to be present? 


  • 2. Will you wish to spend some time alone with your new baby? 


  • 3. How much vacation time will your husband get? 


  • 4. When your family is around and all you want to do is snuggle with the baby and sleep, how direct can you be with them?


  • 5. Do their thoughts about how to care for the baby align with yours?
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