Meet Bemi Badmus, a mother, content creator, Youtuber, and corporate worker. Over the years she has made a remarkable impact in education and informing moms across Nigeria.
She has managed to nurture a community of moms that learn and unlearn new practices as a mother.
We were opportune to have a short discussion with Bemi and how she juggles life as a mother. We uncover the beautiful, funny, and ugly moments of being a mother.
Let's dive in!
Babymigo: What is Bemi Badmus’ definition of motherhood?
Motherhood is a selfless act filled with lots of love, happiness, and intentionality. As a mom, you have to be selfless. I’ve been selfless and you know it's been filled with love and contentment, and most importantly, intentionality.
Some days are going to be hard. And some days are going to be easy. There are some days that it’ll bring out the worst in you. But at the end of the day, there's this immense joy you get from it.
I’ll also add that motherhood is a privilege and a gift that people should not take for granted.
Babymigo: Describe your experience as a new mom? Did you experience any shockers?
(Laughs) I think the only way anyone can have an experience is becoming a mother. The only preparation you can have is by becoming a mother.
There is no amount of preparation you can do that you wouldn't find any shockers. I read all the books (laughs).
I watched a whole lot of videos. My YouTube page was filled with a lot of motherhood content and just preparing myself for just anything to come.
Of course, I experienced some shockers. Right from the moment I gave birth to my daughter in the operating room.
I was in labour for almost 48 hours. I also had consecutive contractions and the baby refused to come.
At a time, her heart rate was dropping and then they needed to perform an emergency C-section. I had my daughter afterwards.
Now that I think about it, I probably should have opted for a C-section in the first place. That was my first shocker.
The next thing after that was I thought that once you have your baby, your milk starts flowing. That wasn't the case for me (laughs). I struggled a lot with breastfeeding.
Eventually, I found practical ways to help my breast milk flow. The whole time my daughter breastfed was a struggle. But I was able to walk it.
There are a lot of scholars but one thing I would say is that I’ve read a lot and I hear a lot of people say when you give birth to your child, it's love at first sight.
Well, that wasn't the case for me. It wasn't love at first sight. I had to tell them to take her away from me. My mum was begging me because when I looked at her, I felt this girl wanted to kill me. That was another shocker.
There a lot of them through the days I was raising her from when she had colic to when she was teething, even now that she's a toddler. She's a very strong willed child.
She's very firm on her choices and that still shocks me. But I know there will be many more to come.
Babymigo: Tell us a bit about your influencer journey. Has content creation influenced the way you parent your child?
Content creation didn't start when I had my daughter. I had started doing content on YouTube and I wasn't even active on Instagram.
I just started straight out with the YouTube channel and started loading vlogs.
This happened when I moved back to Nigeria after my university education and I started NYSC. I started my YouTube channel because I searched a lot of information about nysc program and I didn't get a lot of it online.
I don't read a lot and I prefer watching videos. This is why this interview is being recorded. I don't write a lot either.
I saw a couple of blog posts but I couldn't just sit down to read it. When I started NYSC, I started documenting. It was pretty much like every stage of my life was documented on YouTube.
From my NYSC days to job hunting to when I got married and finally my pregnancy stage to having my baby. Motherhood wasn't what made me start content creation. My social media life hasn't influenced the way I parent my child.
The reason why I’m more open to creating content on motherhood at the moment is that I've come to a realization that a lot of people bottle things up and they don't know how to express themselves to other people.
A lot of my content centers on what I’ve learned and my struggles. And I'm very open and transparent about it also.
I also tell them a lot of my mistakes that I learn from it. I use it to create content. I'm a sorta relatable mom.
When I post content, a lot of mom's reach out saying that the same thing is happening to them and they don't know how to go through it or they've gone through it.
That's the reason why I create content. This is something I have kept doing due to the feedback.
A lot of moms need all these information and shouldn't feel left out. My slogan is “you're not alone in this motherhood journey.” I also ask questions if I don't understand certain occurrences.
I have older audiences too and I ask them questions and suggestions. So that way content creation has helped me parent my daughter better because I ask questions.
Babymigo: How do you merge content creating, a 9 to 5, and being a toddler mum?
I get this question a lot (laughs). A lot of people see me and say I make it look easy. My family members know I don’t have it easy oh (laughs).
Like I said earlier, motherhood is intentionality. I'm passionate about all the things I've put together. I'm passionate about creating content.
I'm passionate about raising my daughter. I'm passionate about intentionally and all that I’ve put together. I'm also passionate about my work.
I don't know how to do business and I’ve never done business. What I know how to do or rather what I was trained to do was to go to school, graduate, and get a job. And then you work the job.
It also gives me fulfillment and I love content creation because I'm helping people. The money I make from content creating is nothing compared to my 9 to 5 job. The fact that I get to help people gives me immense joy. I'm not on it for the money.
How I juggle everything is planning, delegation, prayers and support. Planning in the sense that during the weekends I know I’m going to work Monday to Friday and I'm also going to create content two to three times a week.
During my weekends, I sit down and plan the content I want to shoot and I brainstorm over it. I also have to plan for my daughter. I plan for her school, what she's going to eat during and after school.
Planning is a major part of my life. I’m also very much involved with church activities.
You can't do it all. There's no overall best in mothering and parenting. My husband is also involved with my content creation.
He obviously can't help with my 9 to 5 but he helps me with my daughter. We parent her together.
There are days he picks her from school, and does her assignment. Asides my husband who is a very big support system.
I have a nanny. Get a nanny or a trusted help. There are various sources and sites where you can get them from.
My nanny has been with me for a year. She understands the kind of life I live and doesn't stress me at all. She loves my daughter and takes good care of her.
My parents are a major support system too. Somehow around their busy schedule, they always remember that they have to pick my daughter up from school.
And it's because they support everything I do from content creation to my 9 to 5. Plus lots and lots of prayers because it's only God that can help me.
Normally, I shoot content in the morning before going to work so when I wake up I already know what to film. I get my daughter dressed for school.
While the nanny is feeding her breakfast, I turn on my camera to record. It takes me about 20 to 30 minutes depending on the time I have and as soon as I turn off my camera, it's work.
Babymigo: Any funny or hilarious moments as a mother?
Funny moments (laughs). It’s hilarious but I was upset at the time it happened. Now that I think about it, it's funny. So this happened when I didn't have a nanny, and I was juggling everything together.
This was also a busy period at the office. I would literally lock myself in the office so I could concentrate.
Whenever I get back from work, I don't check my phone because it's my session with my daughter where we play, chat and watch tv.
My messages kept piling up without me checking them. I vividly remember that she didn't have assignments because she was about to go on a mid term break.
So I thought the break was supposed to start on Friday. It was a weekday, and I drove her to school.
When we got there, the security guard was like “there's no school today oh. Madam you didn't see your messages?”
I hadn't checked my messages and my husband was transitioning jobs at that moment so he was also busy.
She was two at that time and loved going to school. I had to explain to her why she couldn't enter the school because she was already starting to pull a tantrum.
I was kinda upset. But the moms on social media made me feel better.
It's normal to forget some time but not every time. I'm human and I also make mistakes. As far as it does harm my child in the long run.
Babymigo: What would you say to your younger self about motherhood?
My younger child adored children. I was that child in church that loved carrying other people's babies. Then, it looked easy for me. I already knew how to change diapers.
In my head, I was prepared and ready. There was nothing anybody could tell me about motherhood that'll be new to me then (laughs).
But then, I was only with those babies for maybe one to two hours. I never really knew what was going on behind the scenes.
I would tell my younger self “see, it's not as rosy as you think. There are a lot more involved in changing a child. It’s a lot more than that.”
Babymigo: What is your advice to other new mums navigating motherhood for the first time?
My advice to new moms is always have somebody you can talk to. There's this new wave or maybe it has been existing, the idea of “you can't tell me how to parent.”
Due to this mindset, people don't like talking about what they're going through. Because they feel they'd be judged and have their opinions shut down.
But the reality of things is that everybody is going through one thing or the other. And the only way you can get a little bit of relief is by talking to someone.
It doesn't matter who the person is. My go to person I talk to recently is my daughter’s school owner.
She's an older mom of three and has a beautiful open up policy where you come in to discuss anything with her.
She's someone I've come to start talking to about things and she gives me solid advice and it works.
Don't keep things bottled up because you'll suffer in silence. There's someone going through a similar situation or has gone through it before.
If you don't open up as a first time mom, it's going to be hard. An advice my daughter's school owner said was “ even if you've had a child before and you have another one, you have to apply different techniques. ”
Liken you've never done it before, you can't get all the information from watching someone else.
Sometimes you have to reach out to people. It doesn't have to be physical, it could be online. It can be someone you watch on youtube, Instagram, or any other social media platform.
I've had people send me long dms or voice notes and at the end they say “I'm so sorry for sending the long message.”
But I help in whichever way possible. When you feel you're not alone in whatever you're doing, it makes what you're doing 100 times better.
Mom guilt is something I've dealt with several times but opening up to people made me feel so much better.
As a first time mom, there is no other person that can raise your child better than you. Just keep doing what you're doing and everything is going to end in joy and happiness. That's all I have to say.
Catch her amazing vlogs on YouTube and connect with her on Instagram.