- Meet Mrs. Foluso Gbadamosi. An IT expert with several years of training and certifications. She's a Gallup strengths certified coach and the executive director of Junior Achievement Nigeria. Over the years, she currently sits on various company boards. Aside from juggling all these responsibilities, she's a mother to two beautiful girls. Let's find out how she manages to pull it off!
- BM: Please introduce yourself
My name is Foluso Gbadamosi. I'm a married woman with 2 lovely daughters.
I run an organization called Junior Achievement Nigeria. It's an organization that empowers Nigerian youths. I also sit on the board of a few companies. I also have a coaching practice. I’m a Gallup certified strength coach.
I coach people with their strength to be the best version of themselves. I'm also an author. I have two books out. That's me in a nutshell.
- BM: What does motherhood mean to you?
Motherhood is being a mother as far as the definition goes. For me, motherhood is found loving my children because I feel it comes naturally as a mother.
Nurturing them to become their best selves. I'm very particular about honouring the differences in human beings.
When you become a mother, you'd be forced to discover the diversity in people, especially your kids because your kids are different from you.
Motherhood also means seeing the beauty in diversity. Being able to value the differences in your children. Being able to celebrate it. Being able to nurture them.
- BM: What has motherhood been like for you?
- Motherhood has been very interesting. It is a learning journey. When you're learning about your children, you're also learning about yourself. You're seeing more of yourself and them.
- And you're adjusting based on how they are. So one key thing about being a parent is being adaptable to change. Being very flexible. There are things you think are right for your child. However, when you start raising your kids, you might have a mind shift.
- BM: Would you say it's the easiest hurdle in your life?
It's not a hurdle (laughs). Like I said, it's a journey. The reason why I'm not the most excited person to talk about things like marriage and motherhood is that these things are journeys.
You don't get them overnight. It's not a destination. It's a daily journey of discovery. Your children are evolving. Even older parents still witness the change in their children. It's not an achievement.
You must also be willing enough to understand your children to become what God wants them to be.
- BM: Would you say you were prepared for motherhood? Any plans? Any shockers?
I'm not one of those people that sat around and spoke about motherhood before I got married (laughs) I don't think I was prepared. I also didn't think about it like that.
Pregnancy was really tough. My first pregnancy was horrible. I was sick the entire time. I wasn't prepared for that in any way.
When I had my daughter, I was happy I wasn't sick anymore. My first daughter was born through an emergency section. I wasn't prepared for her early arrival. She was in the neonatal intensive care unit 3 weeks after her birth. I wasn't prepared for that as well. I had to be intentional, especially with lactation.
There are so many things I wasn't prepared for. As I said, it's a journey so even if you're prepared for a new born, you're not prepared for their growing.
I'm an open-minded person. I adapt fast and I'm very open to change. I think for one major thing about motherhood is open-mindedness. Everything from her early arrival to everything coming after, my older daughter was a picky one. She wasn't an exploration child. My second daughter loved to explore. All the things my older daughter didn't do, she did. It is an adaptable journey.
I've also found out that it doesn't matter all the advice you get until the actual experience starts. You'll get to understand the gravity at which you're not prepared (laughs)
- BM: How do you merge a busy schedule and two daughters?
- One is you need to understand the season of your life. You must have support. Nobody is an island. Having a newborn is different from having a toddler to a child in secondary school.
These stages are different and what is required from you as a parent might be different. So when you have a newborn, you're more physically exhausted because everything will be telling on you physically. A newborn cannot clean or get food. You do everything.
As the child becomes different, you have to be observant to make sure the child doesn't hurt themselves. You pay attention more about their personalities. What they like and what they don't.
The second thing is support. I have always been very prayerful and intentional about support. I’m not someone that never planned to not have a career. I'm ambition driven and God created me for this purpose.
My husband and I are very honest with ourselves in terms of nannies, family, domestic staff, all of that and then there are structures. When my kids were younger, we had certain structures. It has changed now because they're older.
I think what you have to be honest with is the season you're in, the age of your children, and what is going on with your career. And what support you need to prevent dropping the ball. You will drop the ball eventually but to prevent future occurrences.
What I found out was that many people aren't honest about wanting to build their careers while having kids. Sometimes, it takes a lot of money to find comfort. I’m very open with my staff.
As long as you understand what you need, you'll also need the support system of people around you. It’s really give what you get.
I've always had friends and we're very supportive. I've noticed a lot of women can be like “I don't want people in my space.” And also not particularly helpful and lending a good hand to people. Such that when it's your turn, you have no one to stand by you. I'm a person that needs people.
There's nothing you can build without people. You have to honour people. There are days when I had to drop off my daughter and nanny at my mom’s place. I'm always very appreciative.
If any of them request a favour, I'm not going to pout because they've being doing a lot for me as well. The point I'm making here is, you have to be intentionally caring and loving people.
You can't be treating people anyhow. Yet, you want people jumping for you. Always carry your spouse along. Nowadays, society makes it look like being a woman means being handicapped in Nigeria.
Hopefully, your spouse is loving and willing to parent along with you. Some people don't. If you know you don't have a supportive spouse, be creative about ways to manage, and don't compare yourself to others.
Be intentional about managing your own home situation.
- BM: What would you describe as your stronghold in parenting?
I'm a mix of everything depending on their age, season of life and what's going on. Like I said, so even their ages, what they need, causes you to be different.
Sometimes it's about being fun, strict or caring and having conversations. And it also depends on the child. My superpower is being able to adapt per season per child.
- BM: Which is more challenging? Being a mom or an IT expert?
I can't really answer that question. I don't think I can compare. I think parenting is more challenging than everything you give to do with your career and I’ll tell you why.
The truth of the matter is it's a job. If you decide to take a break, you can still get another job after putting in the work.
I know 3 people that took career breaks. That is more logical. Parenting is a journey that isn't straightforward. It's not a linear journey. Sometimes it's round. Parenting is a lot more challenging than every other thing.
- BM: What is your advice for other moms?
Two things. One is be true to yourself and create structures for you to be able to balance that. That means different seasons of your kid's life and your career would need different things.
And you need to pay for these things. For example, your child is transferring to Jss1 and you don't have time. You need to be able to identify what everyone needs and do what needs to be done.
Parents take a lot of action. Even with children, some are smart, sporty, and mixed. And journey with them accordingly.
Last but not least, you're totally replaceable at work and not at home. Home is your safe place that needs your presence. Even though you're not physically present.
Have structures that you need to be intentional and you have to be mentally present.
We need to treat our domestic staff with love and respect. Replicate your presence and honour them. Respect people for the benefits they’re adding to be your life.
You can connect with Mrs. Foluso on Instagram to know more!
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