RONKE GIWA–ONAFUWA is a wife and Mum of 3 beautiful girls, an 18-year-old, a 15-year-old, and a 4-year-old. She is a broadcaster, content creator, and author. She has been a radio presenter for the past 12 years. She also loves talking to adolescents, especially girls; She runs a pet project called “Who’s That Girl”- a forum geared towards empowering impressionable young girls in their teenage years. She also is the convener of @TalkMummy, an online support group/community for mums based in Ibadan, Nigeria.
She works with SPLASH 105.5 FM, Ibadan, where she is the head, of Digital Media, and also the host of a popular breakfast show, Morning Splash.
Motherhood is fun but can be quite demanding. How have you been able to balance mom life and career life?
I was still single while I was paying my dues and hustling as a young broadcaster, so I got married at the time when I was lucky enough to have climbed up the ladder a little bit so I am able to control my time and dedicate as much as I want to my family. I also have an amazingly supportive husband who is my biggest cheerleader so when I am unavailable, he does a great job with the kids as well. I also have a great nanny who has been with us for a long time.
What has been the hardest period of motherhood for you and how did you deal with it?
The hardest period of motherhood has to be postpartum or what they call the 4th trimester; as prepared as I thought I was - reading books, surfing the internet, etc, nothing still prepared me for the early days after I left the hospital. The sleep deprivation, the unsolicited advice, and the resentment I felt for my husband at some point. Even with a nanny and my mother around, it was all still very overwhelming. I didn’t realize I was giving off the impression that I didn't need help and then feeling like a victim when everyone left me alone. I had to speak up; I really communicated with my husband about how I really felt and it was truly a relief to sit back and allow other people to take care of the baby.
What is your biggest mom-tivation?
This may sound cliche - but my kids! I want to be an inspiration for my kids. I love that they see me achieve great things, love what I do, and enjoy my life! I never want them to think women have to always put themselves last. They see me sacrifice for the family and also live the baby girl's life.
What are you most proud of in your motherhood journey?
That my children can talk to me; especially my older girls. We can talk about boys, about life and they also know not to mess with me. I can switch from besty to Mummy real quick.
Looking back, if you could do anything differently in motherhood, what would you do differently?
Walked away when I was angry. Not say a word until I was calm enough not to say something hurtful to my kids. Teenagers can really test you but you are the adult and they never forget the things you say.
What would you like to tell moms who are just getting a hold of the motherhood experience?
It’s tough at first but you will get a hang of it. Be gentle with yourself; none of us were given a manual for parenting so you will make mistakes. Say sorry to your kids when you are wrong and say “I love you” a lot. They grow up so fast. You also want a child that loves being around you and has a healthy sense of self, not a child that runs in the other direction when you walk in. Finally, do you! Don’t be pressured to do what other Mums do.
If you had to choose one parenting mantra for yourself, what would it be?
My children feed off my energy. I have to be okay to create a healthy environment for them to thrive. Enjoying my life is not only good for me, but also for them.
A big Thank You to (Mrs) Ronke Giwa for taking out time to inspire many moms through this interview, You can connect with Ronke Giwa on Instagram @ronkegiwa1
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